Dreams

So I've really been thinking about the power of dreams lately. I don't have dreams frequently, but when I do, I take them to heart, and I usually love them. Mainly because I hardly ever have them.

Last night, I had approximately three dreams. I think, but only one really stands out. Or maybe that one is the combination of all three? I don't know. Who does?

Anyways, so I had this dream right? And in it, was an ex-boyfriend (we'll call him Jack), and ex-fling (Tony) , and the guy that I still wish something would happen with (Riley). Get this though, they're all best friends. It was the strangest thing ever though. In my dream, I woke up and went downstairs, and all of them were sitting in my back room, and my mom was making breakfast and tea for them. The bazaar part? My mom hates Tony.

Now, up until about a week ago, I had a HUGE shot at having something happen with Riley, who I've been half in love with (maybe not really, but that's the best way to describe it) for the past school year. Last weekend, I was supposed to hang out with him, my best friend, and his best friend, who happens to be Tony. The point of all of us hanging out though, was so that something could happen between Riley and I. But by the end of the night, it was as though Tony and I were supposed to be together. Which normally I wouldn't have cared about, but looking back on it, I hated. I really really really wanted something to happen between me and Riley.

Gosh, I'm such a girl. I know I'm totally blowing this all out of proportion, but I don't know what else to do. Anyways, so on like Monday when I saw Riley, he said he was done. That because Tony liked me and stuff that nothing was ever going to happen, etc. And gosh did that hurt. Because on the car ride home with my best friend, I realized that really? I didn't like Tony anymore, and that really? I wanted to be with Riley in any way, shape, or form. Even if that meant not really having a relationship, but more of a fling type thing going.

Part of me wants to think that he still wants to be with me too. But because of his loyalty to his friend, that will never happen. And at this point, I'm trying to rack my brain with ways that I can get him back. But I don't know how to.

How does this all relate to the dream, you ask? Well, until early this morning, I had basically given up on anything happening with Riley. I was indifferent to him and the whole situation, but now? Now I realize that I don't care what he says, I'm still gonna try my hardest to get him and to get Tony to understand that I don't want to be with Tony anymore (despite the fact that in the past week I have told him that like three times. I have serious issues, I know.) and that really I want to be with Riley. Now it's just a matter of trying to figure out how to do that.